A review of "John Dies at the End"

He doesn't. And it took way too long to get there.

Footprints In The Sand

"I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand. But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints and sometimes there was only one. Which was really weird, because His Noodly Appendage doesn't leave footprints."