28 June 2013

Onward Sauron’s Soldiers

Just leaving this here...

Onward Sauron’s Soldiers

Words by Richard Tatge, Al Kuhfeld and Ken Fletcher. Sung to the tune of 'Onward Christian Soldiers'

Onward Sauron’s soldiers,
Marching as to war,
With the eye of Sauron
Going on before
Darkness like a banner
shadows all the foe.
Forward into battle see the Nazgul go.

CHORUS:
Onward Sauron’s soldiers,
Matching as to war,
With the eye of Sauron
Going on before.


Trolls and Balrogs mangle
Dragons burn and bite!
With us you must tangle
Or run and scream in fright.
Evil is our watchword,
Pain is our delight;
Middle-Earth must crumble,
Under Mordor's might.

CHORUS

From the dread dark tower.
To the black Khazad-dum.
We’ll send elves and hobbits
Shrieking to their tomb.
Men and dwarves together
Go down in defeat.
In the hunger after the battle.
They’ll be nice to eat.

CHORUS

Conquer every village!
Yell out the battle cry!
Murder, rape and pillage,
Then spit in their eye!
See the craven victims
Quivering with fear:
We’ll be leaving Mordor
Sometime late next year.

17 June 2013

Teal Deer has a new buddy! PW;DR

Via @Skud RT @NeuroPolarbear Proposed new internet slang: BPW;DR. Means, "behind paywall, didn't read".

I'm just going to use "pw;dr".

The Teal Deer has a new buddy. What do we call this one? Power Deer?

05 June 2013

Oh dear where can the matter be...

Just leaving this here for reference...

Oh dear, where can the matter be?
When it's converted to energy,
There is a slight loss of parity.
Johnny's so long at the fair.

He promised to buy me a second-hand Morris,
A matched set of H-Bombs that go off in chorus,
A musically-talented agile slow loris,
And other delights that are rare.

Oh dear, where can the matter be?
When it's converted to energy,
There is a slight loss of parity.
Johnny's so long at the fair.

He promised to buy me a used weeping willow,
A pair of chrome booties for my armadillo,
A hand-tatted, plaid, pterodactyl-down pillow,
And other delights that are rare.

He promised to buy me a magical locket,
A miniature couerl to keep in my pocket,
A duocorn stallion, a Saturn-V rocket,
And other delights that are rare.

He promised to buy me a positron beauty,
A lit'rally minded transistorized cutie,
A chrome-plated robot that does double-duty,
And other delights that are rare.

He promised to buy me an incomplete wizard,
A red-headed genie, a hexapod gizzard,
A house-broken dragon, a musical blizzard,
And other delights that are rare.

He promised to buy me a microwave oven,
Some witches from Karres arrayed in a coven,
Some teflon extrusions to further our lovin',
And other delights that are rare.